This is probably an idea somebody else has had already, but this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now and figured I could express it in my own words.

Ever since my “epiphany,” I’ve been practicing positive thoughts when I look myself in the mirror every morning, e.g. “You’re going to do great,” “Today is a new day,” “You always have a choice to change.” It really helps to set my mood and it helps me to be more patient and forgiving with others, because it makes me more empathetic. Realizing that we’re all the main characters of our own stories trying our best in this world helps me not only to be more peaceful toward others, but it allows self-empathy for myself. It’s a beautiful cycle of giving empathy that reflects back on yourself.

This is my mirror theory. We fall in love with and become friends with the people who reflect the “us” that is already happy. I’ll show you.

When I first started dating, I was extremely insecure, introverted, and shy. The first guy I ever dated was confident, extroverted, and a social butterfly. Most people would say in this case, “Opposites attract,” right? I don’t find that to be the case.

No, he was my mirror. I was attracted to him because I saw in him a potential for somebody I could be – somebody who wasn’t terrified of speaking to strangers, somebody who didn’t tear themselves down 24/7, and who made their ideas and dreams a reality rather than letting them stew in their head for all of eternity –

– much like the person I am today.

I didn’t need him to be the person I am now. I fell in love with him because he showed me a reflection of who I already was – the me that was happy.

The people we love are our mirrors. You love the people you love because in some way, they reflect a piece of you. You love the things you love because they reflect a part of you – the part of you that’s happy all the time, 24/7. And that’s what everybody wants. The “them” that’s happy.

We’ve grown up in a culture that has taught us that in order to be happy, we must be rich, successful and have the perfect mate etc. etc. These things can make you happy. But they’re mirrors. Mirrors of the you that’s happy. And once that mirror is gone, what will you do? Once the money is gone, that reflection of the you that’s happy is gone. Once your lover is gone, as is your reflection. Depression returns. Anxiety and paranoia will come back. And they will all devastate you.

The things that make you happy… make you happy… because they reflect the you that’s already happy. Happiness is within you. Every single living creature on this planet has that power – to call upon the “them” that is happy 24/7. Observe any animal. Any dog is happy not because they have the best toys and beds money can buy, but because they are their true selves – the “them” that is happy. It’s the same thing for humans – you don’t have to have any object or person to use that power.

And once you realize that, you’re unstoppable.

But that’s not to say we don’t need mirrors to reflect on ourselves every once and a while. My current significant other brings me happiness, he helps me grow as a person, he shows me my flaws, and I love him to death, but I don’t NEED him to be happy. If he leaves my life, I’ll be sad. And there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to be happy. But I know that when I’ve come to terms with my emotions and I’m ready, I can choose to move on, look within and see the me that’s happy all the time. (I guess some people call “the you that’s happy” the “soul” if you believe in that stuff.)

Our society spends so much time trying to GAIN happiness by obtaining mirrors rather than realizing the happiness that lives and thrives within themselves. We spend so much time trying to obtain money, a good husband/wife, a nice house, a great car, and a hot body because we think they’re the only things that can bring us peace.

Ironically, if it’s happiness you’re seeking, you need only look in a mirror for a reminder. Be kind to yourself. Be thoughtful and considerate toward yourself. Experience the beautiful cycle of empathy through others.

Happiness is a choice. The world will devastate us with its ways, but hope, happiness, and peace reside within the person you are never without:

Yourself.

So be kind. Think of yourself as you would of a best friend. Experience yourself through the reflection others see of themselves in you. I understand that’s a sentence thick with thought, so I’ll re-emphasize it: You are also a mirror. Other people can also find love in the reflection you show of themselves. Experience it and know love of yourself through them.

Long story short, and in simplest terms; Know peace and love within yourself. When you are lost, remind yourself of your inner happiness through your temporary reflections without confusing your reflections for your happiness.

I’m not sure if any of that made any sense or if I’m babbling to the wind. If you have any questions, comments, or further thoughts, please leave them below!