I wake up groggy on a Wednesday morning to the following heart-warming e-mail ►
I didn’t understand at first. Then I remembered the interviews and the photoshoots from last semester. They had published the magazine! And nobody told me!
Clicking the link, it took me here ► http://www.uh.edu/magazine/2018-spring/seeing-the-world-in-a-whole-new-way/
I responded to Miss Brooke with thanks for her kind words, and also… for letting me know the magazine was published!!!
The other exciting part was going back a tab to the “Table of Contents” section: http://www.uh.edu/magazine/2018-spring/
If you scroll down, my face takes up THE ENTIRE WIDTH OF THE PAGE!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Then they sent me a printed magazine… PAGE FREAKING ONE!!!
It’s still so weird, but not… seeing my face in places like that. I feel bad for feeling excited about it sometimes. Of all people, right? I know it’s okay to feel proud of me. But then I’d hate for anybody to think I’m a snob or something because of it. I try to remind myself to remain humble. Remind myself of the places I’ve been and the people who brought me where I am today. I’m not sure how good I am at it, and I don’t think I’ll know until later… but I feel “at peace” with the discomfort.
I still get uncomfortable when people know my name, but I don’t know theirs. As much as I might try to remember each and every one of them, in the hopes of etching them into my life story, I still feel awkward in the imbalance of… understanding the other person? Is this what “fame” is? Trying to relate to someone who knows you, but you know nothing of them?
Maybe I’ll set up a section on the website where people can tell me their stories. So I can hold onto them and know the people who say they’ve been so affected by me. I want to be affected by them too.